my sin
is the forgetting
the desperate scheming
arising from fear
dark shadows
patterned like serpents
I offer up my healing
to the Sky Grandmothers
and their steady Queridos
who hold the dimensions
for the descent
into the underworld
into the hidden temple
my penance
is to submit to their
rattles
drums
songs
chasing away the Demons
purifying my organs
cleansing my sight
and my direction
I confess
to the vibration
of Sanctity
shaking me up
shaking me awake
though it feels at times
like thick discolored sputum
is still stuck
along the edges
I can see
the Salvation
I can see
that I am loved
without reservation
without regard
for the absence of Love
that I have grown used to
that I thought
was Real
I bless the Courage
to ask for the Love
to invoke the Love
the feel of the Love
even when I think
I don’t deserve it
even when I fear
I will be struck down
for my request
I ask for entrance
to the belly of the whale
that warm dark womb
of immortal life
of rich nourishing Nectar
the re-doing of the
gestation and birth
in a Good Way
completely adored
by the Elements
deeply celebrated
by the colored stones
and the shooting stars
and my Beloveds
in form
who stroke me
like a tumbling kitten
